Ok so today i quit smoking...Now dont judge me..I actually quit 16 years ago but when my mum got sick two years ago. My sister and I had to nurse her through her cancer, and it got very tough, so I started smoking again to relieve some of the stress..
I promised my hubby I would try and quit, so today was the day and I have to tell you its been alot tougher then i expected, see the first time I quit I just quit it seemed so easy but i think this time I feel like Im letting go of my mum all over again..i know that sound strange but as i started again when I was taking care of her and now im quitting it feels like I am finally accepting she is no longer here..I know I sound crazy but for those of you who have lost some one special I know you can understand the strangeness of all of this...
I am hoping tomorrow will be easier as I think I might of wore my poor hubby out today... We went on two long walks, pulled weeds in the garden, cleaned the house and went shopping..poor guy....So keep your fingers crossed for me I am hoping I can do this... I set my self a treat at the end of one month..I can spend what ever i would of spent on ciggies at anthro....Now that is a huge reward for me as i only shop there to buy handles for my furniture and only when they are on sale..so watch this space in one month to see my new purchases.....
I love you mum and miss you very much.......
Kelly, I know you can do this! I'm proud of you! And just think of the cool stuff you'll get to buy at anthropolgie!! That really is a treat! <3 Katy
ReplyDeleteI am glad you are quitting! I understand that you feel you are excepting that your mum is gone but I am glad you are taking this big step - good for you!! Good reward at the end of the month too!!
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